Kanda's Lament Prt III
by WillowSioui
Summary: KandaxOC Kissa is remembering what it was like before Kanda disappeared from her life eight years ago. Then, as she finally comes to term with the fact that he is not coming back, something happens to change her life as she knows it…forever!


**Disclaimer:** I do not own this series, which belongs to Katsura Hoshino. But I do own Kissa and the plot.

**Plot: **Kissa is remembering what it was like before Kanda disappeared from her life eight years ago. Then, as she finally comes to term with the fact that he is not coming back, something happens to change her life as she knows it…forever! Warning: SPOILERS.

* * *

***Come and hold my hand,**

**I wanna contact the living**

**Not sure I understand,**

**This role I've been given***

Kissa sits with her back to the stone pillar of the garden around the Black Order. She plays with her light blue dress, dipping her feet into the cold water of a pond. Watching as the fish in the pond swim around her feet, she smiles sadly, remembering when she used to sit here with Kanda. She tucks her blonde curls behind her ears, and starts humming a tune to herself, a tune that is not known to many people anymore. She sighs, and looks down at her hands, and sighs again, more deeply this time. I wish you were here…

***I sit and talk to God,**

**And he just laughs at my plans**

**My head speaks a language,**

**I don't understand***

Looking up to the sky, Kissa scowls, tears forming in her eyes. Reaching up, she wipes them away before they can fall.

"It's your fault, you know…" She mutters under her breath to a God, if only it was listening. Turning her head to the side, she notices a squirrel looking at her, its head cocked to the side. Kissa flicks her hand towards it, and it jumps up and scurries away. Feeling something tickle her foot, she looks down to see a duckling trying to peck at her feet. Bending down, she picks it up and places it into her lap, petting its head with her finger.

***I just wanna feel real love,**

**Feel the home that I live in**

'**Cause I got too much life,**

**Running through my veins,**

**Going to waste***

The little duckling quacks, gets up, waddles, and plops back into the pond. Kissa watches as it joins its little friends. Standing up, and shaking her feet off, she bends down and picks up her shoes, and slowly start to walk through the small forested area. She watches the birds fly through the air, and then notices two swallows flying close together. Smiling slightly, she remembers when Kanda took her walking here when they were nine years old, when he first held her hand. He had always denied it, especially since he wasn't allowed to be outside. Alma Karma and Kanda were both too young to be allowed outside of the Order. She was…made…before the both of them, so she had gained enough trust.

***I don't wanna die,**

**But I ain't keen on living either**

**Before I fall in love,**

**I'm prepared to leave earth**

**I scare myself to death,**

**That's why I keep on running**

**Before I've arrived,**

**I can see myself coming***

Stopping to bend down, Kissa starts to pick a few wild flowers. Again, she remembers when she snuck Kanda out of his room, and they sat as she picked flowers for Alma. She looks at the tree beside her, and notices a carving in the bark. She stands up and, holding her flowers, walks over to the tree. There is a carving of two 'K's together. She giggles slightly, and then walks to the other side of the tree. There is an alter with some incense and a picture of Alma Karma. Very carefully, she places the flowers at the base of the alter, and takes up a match. Lighting it a stone, she lights the incense.

***I just wanna feel real love,**

**Feel the home that I live in**

'**Cause I got too much life,**

**Running through my veins,**

**Going to waste* **

Kissa bends down and crosses herself, and closes her eyes in prayer. As she prays for her lost friend, a sinking feeling grows in her stomach. She hopes that she will never have to put up an alter for Kanda. It was different for Alma; he was like a brother to her. Kanda on the other hand…well, she loved him. Always had.

***And I need to feel,**

**Real love**

**And a life ever after,**

**I cannot get enough***

Kissa shakes her head viciously, trying to throw the image away from her mind. No. I won't think like that….Kanda is okay! He has to be…he promised that he'd come back. She stands up, and slowly makes her way back to the pond. She stops at an apple tree, and plucks an apple. Wiping it off in her hands, she reaches up and takes a bite out of it. The apple tastes nice and juicy, and she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, wiping off the excess juice. She walks back to the pond, and stops dead in her tracks. She sees a figure sitting on the rock, his back to the pillar. He is wearing his typical black pants and white dress shirt. His ebony ponytail swings slightly in the light breeze. He looks over his shoulder, and they're eyes meet. Her blue eyes grow very wide, and her mouth falls open.

"…Kanda?"

***I just wanna feel love,**

**In a life ever after**

**There's a whole in my soul,**

**You can see it in my face,**

**It's a real big place***

Kanda slowly stands up, and faces Kissa completely. He walks forwards, jumping off of the rock and walks right up to her.

"I'm here. I'm finally back." He reaches out to her, but she flinches back. She shakes her head, tears spilling over her eyes. No…It can't be him. He was here yesterday night…but it wasn't him…am I making this up again? Kanda takes another step forwards, and places a hand on her head.

"Please don't. I'm here….For real."

***Come and hold my hand,**

**I wanna contact the living**

**Not sure I understand,**

**This role I've been given***

Kissa lets out a small gasp, and wraps her arms around his chest.

"Kanda!" Kanda smirks, and strokes her hair. He puts his head on hers, and holds her close.

"I promise I won't ever go away again."

***Not sure I understand***


End file.
